Tuesday, 30 October 2012

The mystery of the vanishing killer

"Help! Help!" I woke up and I heard someone screaming for help so I got up and put my warm jacket on and my black uggs and rushed outside. When I got out side I saw a lady on the floor and a little boy pointing a knife at her. She screamed "help" but the boy was giving me the evils so I quickly shuffled back inside and woke up my parents. So they called the police and by the time the police got there the little boy vanished with the lady's body, leaving no trace of evidence just blood.

To be continued........


Ms George said...

A nice attempt at a 'mystery' story opening. You have shared a good description of the crime scene and I really want to find out what will happen next. Your next step is to use more adjectives, similies and onomatopoeia to achieve the learning intention for this task.

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